Friday, September 6, 2013

Forced Into Confrontation

By Scott Shaw

            As discussed in one of my recent writings, "Watching Violence Unfold," people are often drawn into confrontation when they had no intention of ever being so. I mean this can happen in many ways. Somebody can get all road-raged at you as you are driving. Somebody doesn’t like the color or your skin, your hairstyle, or how you are dressed. Maybe somebody just decided to not like you for an undisclosed reason. Pretty much anything you can think of can cause a person to decide to attempt to dawn you into a confrontation. Certainly, on the internet, people do it all the time.
            I so often receive questions from people about how to remain centered when they are being attacked. Though it is depictive of an era, I find it very sad.
            As is the case with much of life, most people are good and kind hearted. They live their own lives. They understand if a person has a different belief system or holds a differing opinion. They do things for the betterment of humanity. Others, for whatever reason, live life differently. They are real jerks. And, as long as they can hide behind a screen name or an internet persona, they are all-empowered. They say and do bad things. Then, if they get blocked all they have to do is grab a new screen name and they do not care about any damage they have done to another person’s life. They find all kind of excuses or even feel empowered for what they have done. That’s just wrong!
            This is the problem with life and life confrontations – some people intentionally do things to make you angry. They do things to hurt you.  They say and do things that are not based in the truth. They do things to draw you into a confrontation. Then, if you stand up to them, if you stand up for your rights, they turn it all around and make it seem like you were the one doing something wrong.
            On the physical level, I have seen this in physical confrontation time-and-time again. A person gets dragged into a fight. They kick the ass of the aggressor but the aggressor tells the cops that the other person started it and, as such, the person who was initially minding their own business ends up going to jail.
            This is why I tell my martial art students to never fight. Because, as I explain, “As a trained martial artist, you will probably win. Then what? The person who actually started the fight will claim, ‘That guy’s a black belt. How could I win a fight against him (or her)?’”
            On the internet confrontations are much the same. There are some highly skilled people out there who learn how do to things that the average does not understand or is not even motivated to do. But, the difference is, they are not man (or woman) enough to go face-to-face with you. They do bad things and what can you do about an undefined entity, attacking you in a manner in which you have no viable means of self-defense?
            So, what can you do if you are forced into a confrontation? This is currently one of the most complex issues of life. As more and more people enter this world. …As more and more go through their adolescence in an internet world. …As more and more people refuse to let go of their adolescence because they can sit at home, stare at a computer, are financed by their parents, and do not actually have to get out there, get and job, and do something positive with their life – the entire concept of confrontations become distorted.
            First of all, I would say, if you want to avoid all confrontations, live in the abyss, do nothing – hide. Live like a sadhu in a cave. If you are unseen, you are UNSEEN. But, that’s hard. As human beings we all want interaction. Some of us what to create and actually do something creative with our lives.  But then, others find that as a reason to create confrontation. I have experiences this since the dawning of the internet.
            So, if you are going to be you. …If you are going to create. …If you are going to live a life not defined by the walls of a monastery, then you have to move and adapt.
            Again, just as I teach my martial art students, you must adapt to whatever type of confrontation you find yourself in. But, as a trained martial artist there is no need to fight when you do not have to. You have nothing to prove. As a trained martial artist you are already more than the person attempting to draw you into a conflict. Because a person of consciousness or a true martial artist would never do that. But, if you must fight, then you must move and adapt. You must deflect and refract. You only strike if you must. And, once you do, then you immediately leave.
            Saying bad things, doing bad things, hurting someone (no matter what your justification), attempting to draw someone into a confrontation is never to the benefit of anyone. This is true no matter what you think or believe about a person. Doing good and positive things is the only way to live a good and positive life. It’s as simple as that.
            If someone confronts you, leave. If someone accosts you, walk away. If someone attacks you, deflect. If someone hits you, strike only to remain conscious and alive, and then leave and return to being a person of peace.
            Confrontations never end well. And, they are of no benefit to the person of consciousness. 
            Think before you say something bad or do something bad to a person. Be more. Be better. Do not confront.

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